When people know I have triplets, before they even find out anything else about me, they assume my life is one of suffering and hardship. And then they find out I also have a toddler and *gasp* no helper and no car, and they are pretty certain that I am one sad and tragic mama. They probably picture me sitting at home looking helpless and weepy while the children wreck havoc around me, or they imagine me chasing endlessly after one kid after another. To my husband they say, you have to work so hard to feed so many mouths, poor you, sigh!
My husband and I are obviously completely confused by these reactions. If you knew us in real life, you will discover we are anything but sad and tormented. In fact my blog captures the wildly optimistic attitude, tireless spirit and practical approach we have to raising our very young daughters.
Sure we had very troubling days, especially in the beginning. But any parents who had to care for newborns break down more times than they like. We really do face the same and tired challenges any other parent face. The only difference is we just juggle a little bit more than a parent with one or two children. Its also true that we did not get a break from childcare in three years. Yes, not a day has passed where we left our children in someone else’s care and there is still no break for us in sight. However we don’t see it as a problem at all because my husband and I take turns to get away from children for a few hours every now and then. About once or twice a month I go out with my friends and he takes care of the girls, and the same goes for him when its his turn to get some downtime.
The thing is we knew what we signed up for. Technically, we didn’t ask for triplets (who does?) but we knew when we wanted to be parents again, we were committed to our child(ren) together with all of the good and all of the bad that they brought. You just can’t plan these things. You can only constantly rise to the occasion. And when you can’t rise to the occasion, then you make a compromises like turning on the TV to get the kids off your back for 30 minutes.
Overall I think we rode our storm pretty well. Once we got over the newborn stage, it was pretty much smooth-sailing. Of course there is the toddler and terrible twos that has yet to happen. Whatever it is, we are ready to rise the occasion over and over again. So long we have our youth, health and the privilege of time, we are resolved to make the best of what we have and enjoy the ride along the way.
So don’t feel sad for us or for that matter any other parent who are tied down by many children. You might be surprised to discover that we might just be one of the happier people around.