2014 to Mar 2016

Meaningful Suffering

I’ve been getting tons of blog traffic on my last post about my version of Groundhog’s Day.  Thank you so much for your kind and encouraging remarks.  I am glad people enjoyed reading about my long and boring day.  The thing is I try to be really honest about motherhood, and to me motherhood and parenthood is a kind of struggle and suffering.  My friend and I have been talking a little bit lately about suffering because I sent her an article, shared to me by another friend, and my friend liked the article so much she went to read the book and gave me a summary since I don’t have much time to read at length these days.  Its called Man’s Search for Meaning by Victor Frankl, whose story is absolutely just stunning. I don’t want to spoil it for you but there was an excerpt in the article that went,

Having children, for example, is associated with the meaningful life and requires self-sacrifice, but it has been famously associated with low happiness among parents, including the ones in this study. In fact, according to Harvard psychologist Daniel Gilbert, research shows that parents are less happy interacting with their children than they are exercising, eating, and watching television.  “Partly what we do as human beings is to take care of others and contribute to others. This makes life meaningful but it does not necessarily make us happy.”

You can read the rest of the article here.

So I guess parenting has been really, truly meaningful for me as terrible as the activity of actual parenting is.  I do enjoy watching TV more than interacting with my babies, but when they are around, I give up so much of myself, its hard to recognise the person that I once was.  I know I’ll get her back someday but its going to be a while more of selflessness.

I wasn’t sure whether I wanted to continue to blog.  But I am so glad to have found other fellow parents who have the same cynical and irreverent view of parenting that I do.  I actually don’t read many mommy blogs.  They exude too much Hello Kitty my kids are awesome and I’m their awesome mother that I cannot really identify with.  I would say my version of mommyhood is like a stand-up comedy.  There’s loads of laughter but the truth is kind of sad because there is so much self-deprivation on the part of the adults.  Still Hello Kitty or not, all of us who do it and do so willingly because its meaningful to give, to raise, to nurture.

So for now I’ll continue to write as honestly as I can and have the time to.

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