2014 to Mar 2016

Catharsis 2 Months Late

I managed to catch one hour of TV today.  I haven’t turned on the TV in like 6 months, or something like that.  If I do turn it on, its on cBeebies which is for Livia to sing and dance to her Teletubbies and In the Night Garden, and what not.  So happens when I turned on the TV this time, my favorite channel, Eve, had an episode on bringing home triplets in the series ‘Make Room for Multiples’.  It was 15 mins along, and it was this mother in New Jersey who implanted 3 embryos and all took, and she was also having GGG triplets and carried them till 35 weeks.  I watched the show empathising and understanding EVERY single thing she felt and said.  She even asked her doctor when will the leg swelling go down.  I DID THAT TOO.  Like seriously that leg swelling was terrible, its like walking on fire.

And for some inexplicable reason during her caesarean operation which they filmed but without showing the gory details, this strange feeling was welling up inside of me and I started tearing. I am having difficulty describing how I felt watching her but her expression and general mood while being cut open and waiting to hear for the first time her three babies cry was exactly like mine.  I think that momentous event for me went by so quickly and there was so much to process that I forgot about it because once it was done, I was whisked away to recover and then learning to manage multiple kids.  Watching her was like remembering exactly that feeling of delivering my triplets, and how scary, awesome, and crazy the whole pregnancy and birthing them was.  It was one hell of a cathartic moment.

I get so caught up with Livia and the babies, I always forget that they were all once inside of me. Three babies were once inside of me.  How crazy is that?

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