2014 to Mar 2016

This Is Not My Body

I am pretty much miserable.  Everyone tells me its just a few more days, but the everyday reality and every minute of living with this condition is really difficult.

How much more can my stomach stretch?  Even this late, its still stretching and pulling and making space.  I guess its good they are growing as much as they can in the short space of time left but its hitting the limits.  The pulling of the skin feels like constant pinching.  I am not sure what remedy there is and I have placed a wet towel over my belly hoping it will bring some relief.  I have put so much moisturiser on my body and it just doesn’t work anymore.  And because the skin is pulling and expanding, its itching as well.  Experiencing all these terrible sensations is really getting to my head.  Just yesterday at the hospital when I was taking my weight, I couldn’t see the weighing scale at all because my belly completely blocked my view.  My husband had to read the scale for me.

And my legs.  My poor legs.  They look like two swollen tree trunks.  I can barely move because they are so stiff from the water retention.  When my husband massages them, I can flex them again but a few minutes later, they swell up once more.  Here’s a sad picture of my feet.  Since taking this photo however, the swelling has spread to my calves and thighs as well.  They feel like foreign objects attached to my body.

2014-09-02-20-26-08_deco

Not surprisingly, I am crying spontaneously from pain, confusion and exhaustion.  I can’t put on my own underwear anymore.  None of my shoes fit.  None of my clothes fit – even the maternity ones.  I am pretty sure I am depressed.

4 more days.

On a positive note:  My goal had been to make it to 35 weeks and tomorrow will be the start of week 36.  I guess I can congratulate myself a little.

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